Ushers were volunteers from the Circle and men Dave and Derek had known at FP&L.Ross Buchman conducted the service. He talked about how we were spiritual beings having a human experience, and how we returned to the spiritual ether from which we came, ready to keep evolving and growing spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally. The service was warm and beautiful, but it certainly evoked many tears as he got specific about Derek.Dave gave the keynote eulogy, pausing to sob occasionally at the loss of one of his best friends and mentors. He told the stories about how Derek had ‘discovered’ him at the utility and then fostered his career, and even pushed him into the change in jobs to what became EneRG. He talked about loving the man and his family. Dave extolled Derek’s many virtues, his sense of humor, his mentoring to many people, his philanthropy, his dedication to service both at work and in his personal life. He sobbed for most of his delivery but managed to remained cogent.The. I had been excited most of the time with John. It was in the cold light of morning that I wasn't excited by the reality of doing stuff with others, but I wasn't about to admit any of that to Suzanne."But, what if I am?" She asked me.That kicked off an argument that lasted for hours. We both reasoned, yelled, cried, and shouted. It didn't get us anywhere. I expressed the opinion that what had happened was a terrible mistake that should be spackled over, painted, and forgotten. Suze was positive that not investigating what she felt would cause her desires and interest to fester and would eventually ruin us. It didn't help when I said it would surely ruin us now by doing what she wanted or it might ruin us later if we didn't. Finally, we dropped it when checkout time approached.That evening at home, after tucking in our daughter, we sat at the table, shared a glass of wine, and tried to talk some more. We had had a few hours to calm down and think."I'd like to set a baseline," I.
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